I watched an ant walk across my skin
my skin must be a vast impassible realm
curving on itself
I could barely feel his steps
to him perhaps
I am mother earth
I wonder what stories
my flesh has told him
the way we know the earth story
by it’s stone surface
the life of the tree by it’s rings
What does this ant know about me,
Should I crush him?
For a moment I am God…
and he is me …
Today I am going down to my very own garden …..
right now it’s just dirt…
but miracles await ….
everybody should grow their own food…
once in their life
Is there anything more sensual
than dirty garden hands ….
dirty farm hands ;)
and suddenly I didn’t mind that you haven’t called
vanity was happy that
you looked tortured within your own flesh
hair a mess
no effort for anyone anymore
this fright of a sight
across the cafe floor
laid to rest my insecure thought
of what if there is someone else,
I didn’t care
I felt proud that for once
someone had broke against me
I didn’t say anything
instead I sat quietly
on the edge
and waited for you to
b-line to the door
the kind part of me
didn’t want to embarrass you
with a hello
but I saw you
and I know you saw me
and I am absolutely fine
for the first time
in a long
I would be lying if I told you that I thought your struggle was important;
If all life was combined and hopes set on fire
In the Grand scheme of eternity
I doubt we would be even be the cherry on Gods Cigarette
Our entire history may be a fraction
of a fraction of a fraction to the power of infinity of a moment
If you attained all you ever humanly hoped and dreamed for
You still would be condemned to live all of your life within the straight line of time
And probably will have to live it on this cosmic speck of a rock
Yet it all seems significant because of relativity
The deconstruction of life renders it useless;
like smashing a priceless time piece to see what makes it tick
no individual part is miraculous
but collectively perhaps;
perhaps we are we just a mirror reflection of the mechanical experience of a designer.
The human race is connected
Everything we do defines us as a whole
But taking just what we experience in our individual lives extract our beliefs and our history and disregard them
Now with your mind clear tell me …..
Do you believe we all began the same way?
Do you believe we are all moving towards the same exit?
We fantasize that we feel differently; Live differently; fear differently;
We fantasize that we are destine to do more than Consume; defecate and procreate
If mother earth could speak would she feel more for us than her other children?
If planets were sanctioned life forms how would we actually be classed?
Perhaps as a parasite or an aggressive cancer?
My fundamental belief is
I DON’T KNOW
but I am sure we are all wrong and right to some degree that doesn’t matter
The search is important because it’s all we have in this life
We are blinded by our own existence
For we cannot see past our nature
Collectively our intellect is laughable
Perhaps to God we our race is an amoeba
We may be just a nail
But a nail in a horse shoe
Not important for who we are
But for who will miss us.
But who cares what I think, feel or do?
Who cares about my struggle?
it’s not important is just human nature.
My fundamental religious belief is we collectively give meaning to each other and somewhere someone knows what time it is
just not you or me;
and that is the beauty of being lost together.
( snap your fingers, tap your toes)
While waiting in line for
my cup of Joe…..
I have noticed that the insane
they find meaning in the mundane
they string events together
and when the meaning doesn’t leap out
and announce itself,
I used to count the
in the middle of the road
I used to believe if I didn’t walk exactly
in my mother’s footsteps
the ground would collapse
I stare at the insane
what gives me the right
I know the side of the glass I am on?
I over think on coffee dates,
I spill when I am held too tightly
I burn the roof of most peoples mouths
I don’t care if I die alone
I don’t care if I go insane
I just want to bath
in one cup of coffee
that’s steaming hot
( before coffee)
I count 5 people in front of me
and 3 empty chairs
I feel the last straw
I shift the weight from my right foot
to the left
and think - there should be separate line
for people who don’t want whipped cream
( snap your fingers, tap your toes)
This is crazy.
The right to bear arms,
The war on terror
on both sides
if you segregate yourselves by race/religion/income/weight
why do you expect others not to do the same?
you tire me
with your lies
you don’t want peace
you want victory
and I want to kill myself
because I can’t be free
in a world preoccupied
with war & grief
we didn’t have
I wish we our minds were
a deep blue ocean of
swimming inside of a unified us
then we would see
that good and evil
are two sides
of the same coin
if we were reduced
down to our thoughts,
our drams, our aspirations
our loves, our tragedies
we wouldn’t need the right
to bear arms
a burning within us
that is ignited
beyond our physical;
for some it is
a dark place,
it is showering fire,
we all burn differently
but we all…
you want millions
of strangers to chant
but it is I who
that touches your cheek
It is I who knows you
and it is I who loves you
why do you want the world?
when you can walk
Why do you want to be a very common special
to those who’ll never touch your flesh
those who’ll never
grab a hand full of your hair?
the sorrow runs dry
I raise the knife
the meat off the bone
how much meat will I have to eat
you see I am not a vegetarian?
The next time you come over
talking about the famous
and the dead
I’ll devourer your flesh and leave
you screaming my name.
“I am not single I am pro-choice”